This is always a sore subject. I do not promise to tell you how you should feel, or what the heck happened, or, what to do about it all.
And maybe you are not disinherited, but simply the by-product of devious family members.
Sometimes family members are obvious sharks (no reflection on SA rugby teams…LoL ) Other times, family can be rats: stealthily nibbling away over time… without us noticing them…carrying various diseases.
I DO however, propose some questions which might assist you in your personal journey towards healing.
You might struggle with all these questions underneath. If only some, you are fortunate:
· What is wrong with me?
· I am not worth anything
· My sister/brother/sibs do not consider me as ‘worthwhile’
· Was I ever considered part of the family?
· Why ever, would my parents consider me as not worthwhile, ‘inheriting?’
· Where, did it start to go wrong?
· What did I do wrong?
· Is everything we joined as children, to be thrown away/considered as non-existent?
· OK. Now I can really make a large list of everywhere I was a “bad” child…
· Damn. Give me a list of GOOD children who DESERVE to inherit
· Where and how, do we draw the line?
· What on earth does DESERVE mean?
· Am I such a shitty child/brother/sister?
· Ok, let’s take a look – O my, was there EVER any relationships?
· Did I bullshit myself all these years?
· So where now, am I bull-shitting myself further; where and how should I change my present life?
· If I am so bad, how can I expect to have other functional relationships in the future?
· I thought I had good relationships with my sibs
· Why the hell did my parents endow me with decency, and deviousness to the other sibs?
· How could I have interpreted my whole life and family relations, so wrong?
· How does this all, change my view of people/human race/etc?
· What should I do now, with all my previous believes and trust, and longings – never mind survival?
· Implication for future/other relations?
· Which lawyer should I contact? Should I, at all?
· I still don’t believe my sister/brother can do this to me..
I can continue a long, long list of all this type of questions! You yourself…might ask yourself similar questions. Please be honest in your answers. Not to me, or anyone else – but to yourself.
And - Stop confronting yourself with everything you might have done so-called wrong!
You know what?
If you are a decent human being, you very well might struggle with most of the questions above.
I think… and believe…
Struggle with all your questions long and hard. As long as it takes. You might not get the “right” or “real” answers; but, the actual issue is, to find answers you can live, and move forward, with.
You very well might have to contract a legal representative (just make sure it is someone who specialises in your problem-area)
But don't expect the nightmares simply to go away. They never do.
We simply learn to live with it. And sometimes, to live with the people involved, as well.
You might have to leave some people behind, in your decision/s….
Bugger the rest. The answers to the questions above, has nothing to do with anyone, besides yourself.
My other message to you is –
You did nothing wrong. You can’t be blamed for stupidity of others!!
And maybe you are not disinherited, but simply the by-product of devious family members.
Sometimes family members are obvious sharks (no reflection on SA rugby teams…LoL ) Other times, family can be rats: stealthily nibbling away over time… without us noticing them…carrying various diseases.
I DO however, propose some questions which might assist you in your personal journey towards healing.
You might struggle with all these questions underneath. If only some, you are fortunate:
· What is wrong with me?
· I am not worth anything
· My sister/brother/sibs do not consider me as ‘worthwhile’
· Was I ever considered part of the family?
· Why ever, would my parents consider me as not worthwhile, ‘inheriting?’
· Where, did it start to go wrong?
· What did I do wrong?
· Is everything we joined as children, to be thrown away/considered as non-existent?
· OK. Now I can really make a large list of everywhere I was a “bad” child…
· Damn. Give me a list of GOOD children who DESERVE to inherit
· Where and how, do we draw the line?
· What on earth does DESERVE mean?
· Am I such a shitty child/brother/sister?
· Ok, let’s take a look – O my, was there EVER any relationships?
· Did I bullshit myself all these years?
· So where now, am I bull-shitting myself further; where and how should I change my present life?
· If I am so bad, how can I expect to have other functional relationships in the future?
· I thought I had good relationships with my sibs
· Why the hell did my parents endow me with decency, and deviousness to the other sibs?
· How could I have interpreted my whole life and family relations, so wrong?
· How does this all, change my view of people/human race/etc?
· What should I do now, with all my previous believes and trust, and longings – never mind survival?
· Implication for future/other relations?
· Which lawyer should I contact? Should I, at all?
· I still don’t believe my sister/brother can do this to me..
I can continue a long, long list of all this type of questions! You yourself…might ask yourself similar questions. Please be honest in your answers. Not to me, or anyone else – but to yourself.
And - Stop confronting yourself with everything you might have done so-called wrong!
You know what?
If you are a decent human being, you very well might struggle with most of the questions above.
I think… and believe…
Struggle with all your questions long and hard. As long as it takes. You might not get the “right” or “real” answers; but, the actual issue is, to find answers you can live, and move forward, with.
You very well might have to contract a legal representative (just make sure it is someone who specialises in your problem-area)
But don't expect the nightmares simply to go away. They never do.
We simply learn to live with it. And sometimes, to live with the people involved, as well.
You might have to leave some people behind, in your decision/s….
Bugger the rest. The answers to the questions above, has nothing to do with anyone, besides yourself.
My other message to you is –
You did nothing wrong. You can’t be blamed for stupidity of others!!
RSS Feed
