It is widely theorised that birth order makes a difference to a child’s personality. That could be true (or not) but I do find the various theories interesting.
Shakespeare is my oldest. Champagne the middle child, with Adari the youngest.
How should I describe Shakespeare? He was quite a handful at first…. And boy, did, he invite some autocratic parenting skills! I wanted him to be the perfect little child and struggled to accommodate him in my nicely pre-existing "planned" daily life. "Upsetting the apple-cart" is using an Euphemism...
Of course he got into lots of trouble at young age, even got seriously lost due to his exploring habits (Thankfully we found him before he ended up in deep trouble. Actually, he reminds me of myself when I was young! My poor parents...)
Since then, the quiet, loyal child. Sometimes I forget about him. He seldom makes demands. Always willing to melt into the background and accepting, giving, forgiving. Yet a leader as well. He is a loyal one, the one who would also protect me to the death. The one I depend upon. I seldom worry about him. It’s as if I also depend on him being OK, always.
Champagne again, is typical to her name. The bubbly, active little terror. The one who seeks trouble and regularly, also finds it. Shake a bottle of warm (or cold) bubbly and then try to open it… you will get “Champagne”! She is the demanding one always looking for attention. The jealous, sibling rivalry one. She makes it easy and fun to pay attention to her as she purposely asks and demands it. Which of course then, moves Shakespeare to the background as he by now has learned to wait, not to make demands, but simply to be there for whatever little crumbs of affection fall off the table. He goes his quite little way.
Adari? Well, she is the one who needs constant protection (constant rivalry between her and Champagne for attention as well). The youngest. She does not have a lot in common with her older siblings. At times I feel quite exasperated by her demands. Of course, with her it also became a rather permissive parental approach. She mostly gets what she wants! Mostly the household centres around her and her needs. She is also the one I worry about most, should I die.
Psychologists believe the secret to sibling personality differences lies not only in birth order but also how parents treat their children because of it. It's rather the roles siblings adopt, and parental reinforcement of these roles (whether they realise it or not) that lead to the eventual personality differences.
First-borns are not necessarily the successful children. They are also prone to higher stress and anxiety levels, as they perceive parents expect more from them (especially more independence or success) and sometimes parental expectations can run too high. The African culture is a good example of how the oldest is expected to take the leadership role (and also what happens if not being able to fulfil this role, or being usurped by siblings).
Once a role is filled by the firstborn, the later-borns normally (instinctively) seek a role that's totally the opposite.
Middle children especially are difficult to describe, since their personalities emerge in response to how they perceive the older sibling/s.
Parents tends to be less stressed, more comfortable and experienced and more conscientious towards the younger/youngest children. The babies in the household. Great benefits to the youngest child! But unfortunately, this also leads to spoiling them. As a result, last-borns get away with sometimes murder. They shoulder less responsibility, and when they are babied (of course, none of us ever would do that, would we…) they can become spoiled and manipulative. They tend to have a hard time when things don't always go their way - to the point of helplessness. Parents therefore almost never stop parenting them.
Back to Shakespeare, Champagne and Adari. Of course, as a parent I can’t see any resemblance in my children with above theoretical birth order personality types. Maybe I am just being a parent, preferably and typically blind when it comes to my own children.
And then –
Shakespeare is an Africanis, Champagne a Labrador, and Adari a Duck (got you there, didn’t I!) So if my animal children tend to have any birth order traits similar to humans, it might say something about how birth order is also shaped by parental influence!
If you are interested in the basic birth order personality types, take a look amongst others at The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are (Kevin Leman, PhD,) It might or might not be true for you.
Shakespeare is my oldest. Champagne the middle child, with Adari the youngest.
How should I describe Shakespeare? He was quite a handful at first…. And boy, did, he invite some autocratic parenting skills! I wanted him to be the perfect little child and struggled to accommodate him in my nicely pre-existing "planned" daily life. "Upsetting the apple-cart" is using an Euphemism...
Of course he got into lots of trouble at young age, even got seriously lost due to his exploring habits (Thankfully we found him before he ended up in deep trouble. Actually, he reminds me of myself when I was young! My poor parents...)
Since then, the quiet, loyal child. Sometimes I forget about him. He seldom makes demands. Always willing to melt into the background and accepting, giving, forgiving. Yet a leader as well. He is a loyal one, the one who would also protect me to the death. The one I depend upon. I seldom worry about him. It’s as if I also depend on him being OK, always.
Champagne again, is typical to her name. The bubbly, active little terror. The one who seeks trouble and regularly, also finds it. Shake a bottle of warm (or cold) bubbly and then try to open it… you will get “Champagne”! She is the demanding one always looking for attention. The jealous, sibling rivalry one. She makes it easy and fun to pay attention to her as she purposely asks and demands it. Which of course then, moves Shakespeare to the background as he by now has learned to wait, not to make demands, but simply to be there for whatever little crumbs of affection fall off the table. He goes his quite little way.
Adari? Well, she is the one who needs constant protection (constant rivalry between her and Champagne for attention as well). The youngest. She does not have a lot in common with her older siblings. At times I feel quite exasperated by her demands. Of course, with her it also became a rather permissive parental approach. She mostly gets what she wants! Mostly the household centres around her and her needs. She is also the one I worry about most, should I die.
Psychologists believe the secret to sibling personality differences lies not only in birth order but also how parents treat their children because of it. It's rather the roles siblings adopt, and parental reinforcement of these roles (whether they realise it or not) that lead to the eventual personality differences.
First-borns are not necessarily the successful children. They are also prone to higher stress and anxiety levels, as they perceive parents expect more from them (especially more independence or success) and sometimes parental expectations can run too high. The African culture is a good example of how the oldest is expected to take the leadership role (and also what happens if not being able to fulfil this role, or being usurped by siblings).
Once a role is filled by the firstborn, the later-borns normally (instinctively) seek a role that's totally the opposite.
Middle children especially are difficult to describe, since their personalities emerge in response to how they perceive the older sibling/s.
Parents tends to be less stressed, more comfortable and experienced and more conscientious towards the younger/youngest children. The babies in the household. Great benefits to the youngest child! But unfortunately, this also leads to spoiling them. As a result, last-borns get away with sometimes murder. They shoulder less responsibility, and when they are babied (of course, none of us ever would do that, would we…) they can become spoiled and manipulative. They tend to have a hard time when things don't always go their way - to the point of helplessness. Parents therefore almost never stop parenting them.
Back to Shakespeare, Champagne and Adari. Of course, as a parent I can’t see any resemblance in my children with above theoretical birth order personality types. Maybe I am just being a parent, preferably and typically blind when it comes to my own children.
And then –
Shakespeare is an Africanis, Champagne a Labrador, and Adari a Duck (got you there, didn’t I!) So if my animal children tend to have any birth order traits similar to humans, it might say something about how birth order is also shaped by parental influence!
If you are interested in the basic birth order personality types, take a look amongst others at The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are (Kevin Leman, PhD,) It might or might not be true for you.
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